The Seven Decisions

I have read and re-read this book. I started underlining sentences and paragraphs that I loved and that meant so much to me, but in the end I gave up - because I loved every word I read!

In this updated and repackaged edition of Mastering the Seven Decisions, master storyteller and life coach Andy Andrews has fast-forwarded the concept of success and what it takes to make it stick.  Seeking out what separates the ordinary life from the extraordinary, Andrews has spent much of his life dissecting countless biographies and spending time with some of the most successful people on the planet to understand the principles that propel them toward greatness.

The result: simple principles that—when applied consistently—render extraordinary lives. Through his entertaining, down-to-earth style, Andrews offers all the tools necessary to make lasting changes in your life. These principles of personal success in parenting, relationships, financial success, and leadership are all around us. So why shouldn't we harness them, learn them, and use them to create a future of our choosing? The seven decision you’ll explore are:

1. The Responsible Decision
2. The Guided Decision
3. The Active Decision
4. The Certain Decision
5. The Joyful Decision
6. The Compassionate Decision
7. The Persistent Decision

The consistent application of the Seven Decisions brings about what can only be called miracles: what was once labeled “impossible” actualizes. Opportunities that once eluded you are now attracted to you. Dysfunctional relationships transform into harmonious ones. Life, which was once a struggle, now becomes an exciting adventure!

I would love to know what you thought of this amazing book!

Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links and I may receive a commission if you purchase through them.

Values vs Beliefs

 

(Image by Sam from Pixabay).

Values and beliefs are two important concepts that shape a person's worldview and behaviour. While they are related, they are distinct in their nature and influence on an individual. Let's explore the difference between them:

1. Values: Values are the fundamental principles or standards that guide an individual's judgments and actions. They represent what a person considers important, worthwhile, or desirable in life. Values serve as a moral compass and help individuals make decisions and prioritize their actions. These can be deeply ingrained and are often influenced by cultural, social, religious, and personal factors.
   
   Examples of values include:

• Honesty: The belief in being truthful and sincere in interactions with others.
• Respect: Treating others with consideration and dignity, regardless of differences.
• Responsibility: Taking ownership of one's actions and obligations.
• Compassion: Showing empathy and concern for the well-being of others.
• Integrity: Adhering to strong moral and ethical principles.
  
  Values can vary from person to person, and individuals might prioritize them differently, leading to different perspectives and approaches in life.

2. Beliefs: Beliefs are cognitive constructs that represent a person's understanding and acceptance of what they consider to be true or false. These beliefs can be based on evidence, personal experiences, upbringing, culture, or faith. Beliefs shape how individuals interpret the world around them and influence their attitudes and behaviours.
   
   Beliefs can be classified into two main types:

• Descriptive Beliefs: These are beliefs about how things are or what exists in the world. For example, "The Earth is round" or "Water boils at 100°C."
• Evaluative Beliefs: These are beliefs about what is good, bad, right, or wrong. For example, "Hard work leads to success" or "Stealing is morally wrong."
  
  Beliefs can be both rational and irrational, and they are not always grounded in objective reality. People might hold beliefs even in the absence of concrete evidence.

In summary:

Values are guiding principles that reflect what is important to an individual and influence their decisions and behaviour.

Beliefs represent an individual's understanding of what is true or false and shape their perceptions and attitudes. 

Both values and beliefs play a crucial role in shaping an individual's identity and worldview.

 

 

 

What You Believe You Become

                                    (Image by John Hain from Pixabay).

What do you believe about your life now? What do you believe about your potential now? If you reflect upon the number of recent tasks, projects, or goals you've begun, how many did you complete? How many from that list did you begin and then set aside, thinking there was not enough time, resources, support, or too many barriers to overcome?

If you have a record of not completing projects or tasks, do you place the responsibility upon yourself, or is it always a matter of external conditions, be it people or something else? These are important questions to consider while you begin to contemplate what it means to accomplish what's important and meaningful in your life. This is especially true for goals. If you have set goals for yourself, it means there is some outcome you hope to achieve, something or some condition you aspire to complete, often resulting in a change within your life.

As you continue your reflection, about task or goal completion, consider something even more important: What did you believe about yourself, and your capability, at the time you established your tasks, projects, and goals? Did you stop to think about whether or not you were capable of achieving what you had planned? Or did you simply establish something you thought would be possible, and begin with a sense of hope? That's usually how goals are formed, perhaps even with a sense of optimism.

The excitement of starting something new may last for a short time period, until the hard work sets in, and it becomes necessary to maintain that initial momentum or excitement. If you didn't have a supportive belief system established, the momentum may quickly fade, and the project or goal may stall. That's when the task switches from being enjoyable, to becoming a monumental chore, and the negative self-talk begins.

What's the missing element? It's the beliefs you hold. If you start out believing you can accomplish anything you decide to do, then maintaining momentum will not be as difficult. The premise is simple: You become what you believe. I'll share with you some ideas for improving your belief system, so that you are better able to start, and work towards completing, your projects and goals.

Why Do Beliefs Matter?

Beliefs matter because you always have thoughts in your mind, and you can choose what your self-talk consists of each day. Now if you have become accustomed to hearing negative self-talk, it will take some practice to change this habit. For example, if you are always criticizing yourself for past mistakes, reminding yourself of past failures, and continually pointing out flaws, then trying to establish positive beliefs is going to be challenging at first. Your working conditions may also reinforce a negative attitude, especially if you have a manager who is always focused on what they perceive to be your flaws, and never noticing your strengths or contributions to the organization.

Yet you are in control of your thoughts, and this is something you can learn to change in time. It is a practiced habit, and like all habits, it can be corrected. It's a matter of finding a new setpoint, or learning to tune out whatever might be harmful to your well-being, and stopping to think about those thoughts that help to lift you up. Everyone has flaws, and everyone has areas of development. However, this does not need to be your focal point at all times. A positive frame of reference is how you become a better person, and how you work on your areas of development. It all has to do with the development of a positive or supportive self-belief system.

Developing a Positive Self-Belief System

There are strategies I've developed over time, and shared with my students, that I recommend for you as well. These methods will help you learn to better tune into those thoughts that support you, and your efforts to develop new goals, projects, and tasks, and sustain those efforts, even during times when the work becomes challenging. I use the acronym BELIEF.

Become Your Own Sponsor: You must rely upon yourself to be supportive, even when there are times that you feel challenged by your goals, life, work, or anything else that comes along. If you begin to think negative thoughts, then you are going to view your entire life in this manner, and you are not going to be able to respond in a way that is beneficial to you. You think and act best when you self-supportive.

Elevate Yourself: As you learn to become self-supportive, you can elevate yourself by believing in yourself, despite natural doubts and questions. There is no perfect person, and you should never accept that you are expected to be perfect. Who you are is exactly who you are supposed to be, someone who is learning and growing every day. You have a capacity to continue to grow.

Like Who You Are: It is important to your well-being that you like the person you see in the mirror. Your entire disposition will change if you make a conscious decision that who you are is perfectly acceptable, even if you decide there are flaws. The imperfections you hold make you perfect. When you like yourself, you are stating that you also believe in yourself. The two go hand-in-hand. You can like yourself without having to ask for anyone's permission. This is your decision, and yours alone.

Intend to Remain Positive: There are going to be days in which you feel down, challenged, and not at your peak. This is all part of life. What you can do is intend to retain your positive disposition, for the sake of maintaining your self-resilience and determination to do your best no matter what conditions may be. This does not mean you are wearing a happy face, rather it means your outlook is hopeful and you are going to find a way to still believe in the best outlook. You will find it easier to get through those challenging days, when you have a positive disposition.

Engage in Beliefs that Challenge You: You may be holding onto existing beliefs that do not serve you well now, as you are thinking about aspects of your life that have not occurred in the manner you hoped it would. If so, this is the time to engage those beliefs, to determine not why they were developed, but to ascertain if you still need to hold onto them. Now that you are thinking about a new method of developing beliefs, it is time to begin to set aside prior beliefs, especially those that do not serve you well. It will take practice, but those old beliefs are likely keeping you stuck in the past.

Forge New Positive Beliefs: If you need help feeling better about yourself, now is the time to forge your new beliefs. You can do this by relating these beliefs to the new goals you've established. For example, if you have a goal related to your well-being, then decide what it will take to reach or attain that goal. Consider potential obstacles or barriers along the way. Then write down beliefs you will need to support the goal as well. Now practice stating those beliefs. You will now be prepared to work on your goal and have supportive beliefs to guide you.

It's All a Matter of Focus

What you choose to focus upon matters for your well-being. If you have a negative idea, it can be cultivated into a worrisome state of mind. You can also begin with an affirmative idea, allowing it to continue until you feel good. You have an ability to think and feel better. This is the formula for beliefs as well. It's all about thinking and what you focus upon. You are the sum of what you are thinking about in this moment, which means you are the sum of what you believe about yourself. You can train yourself to think the best about yourself, which in turn means you believe the best about yourself. If you want to make changes to your life, start a new goal, or accomplish something you have dreamed of doing, develop a positive disposition and supportive belief system. What you believe about yourself, you will become through the actions you take. You control your life, through the power of your thoughts.

Dr. Bruce A. Johnson is an inspirational author, writer, and educator.

To discover resources available for educators, along with career and professional development, please visit: http://www.drbruceajohnson.com/

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How To Use The Law Of Attraction In 2023

 

Resilience: Can Childhood Trauma Make It Hard For Someone To Handle Setbacks?

(Image by Rosy from Pixabay)

It could be said that no matter who someone is, there are going to be moments in their life when something won't go to plan. So, instead of being able to go from A to B, they will end up going from A to A.

For whatever reason, they will have come up against a hurdle and it won't be possible for them to take the next step. At this point, there is likely to be a number of options available to them.

A Few Options:

One option would be for them to do the same thing as before, with the hope that this time it will work. Another option would be for them to come up with another plan and try something different.

Alternatively, they could simply throw the towel in and give up altogether. The second if not the first, although they could opt for the second option after a while, will allow them to move forward, whilst the last option won't.

Growth and Expansion:

Naturally, if someone has the tendency to go for option one and option two when it is necessary, they are likely to live a life that is worth living. Most likely, they will know deep down that they are more than the challenges that arise and this will allow them to move through them.

Thus, even if something does hold them back for a while, it won't end up holding them back forever. Living in this way will allow them to feel alive and achieve their goals.

Support:

Still, this is not to say that they will always do this by themselves as they are likely to have people in their life who have their back, so to speak. When there is not someone in their life who can be there for them, they might end up reaching out to someone who can.

Once again, their belief that they are more than their circumstances and their emotional strength will play a big part in what propels them forward. There is the chance that they have always been this way; then again, it might have taken them a little while to be this way.

A Different Reality:

When someone has the inclination to throw in the towel when they come up against a hurdle, they are going to live a life that is radically different. There may be moments when they go for the first or second option, but this will be the exception.

Deep down, they are likely to believe that they don't have what it takes to overcome the challenges that arise in their life. To use an analogy: most challenges, then, are going to be like a wall that is far too high for them to climb over.

No Chance:

Thanks to this, they are unlikely to truly be able to grow and expand; they will only be able to get so far in life. They could have moments when they look at how well other people are doing and believe that they have something that they themselves don't have.

If this is so, they could spend time imagining what it would be like to be someone else and how different their life would be if they were. Due to this, they are likely to put certain people on a pedestal.

An Island:

This could mean that they won't even bother talking about what they are struggling with and reaching out for the support of the people in their life. Yet, if they do talk about what they are struggling with, most of the people in their life could simply validate their outlook.

If they do, this can illustrate that these people are disempowered and estranged from their own inherent power. These people will simply be a reflection of how one sees themselves.

A Closer Look:

The truth is that one does have what it takes to handle the challenges of life, so why is it that they don't realise this at the core of their being? What this can show is that they are in a traumatised state.

Consequently, they don't have access to the strength that would allow them to overcome the challenges of life. Without this, it is to be expected that what takes place externally will be seen as being insurmountable.

A Waste of Time:

In all likelihood, there will have been moments when they have tried to overcome something and not got very far, so now they won't even bother. Sadly, they will now be a very watered-down version of themselves; they won't be standing in their magnificence or living a deeply fulfilling life.

When it comes to why they would be in a traumatised state and out of touch with their inherent power, it can be due to what took place during their early years. This may have been a time when they not only felt helpless but were helpless.

Going Deeper:

Assuming they didn't have a difficult birth, there is the chance that they were regularly left and were not given the care that they needed. They would then have struggled at least in the beginning, in order to try to have their needs met, but it wouldn't have been very effective.

To handle the pain that this would have caused them to experience, they would have ended up emotionally collapsing and shutting down. This would have been a time when they felt totally defeated as there was absolutely nothing that they could have done.

The Past Is Present:

This stage of their life is now over but whenever they come up against a challenge, this early imprint will be set off. Their past will then be projected onto the present and they won't be able to accept that they are no longer helpless.

It will be as though they have fallen into a very deep hole and are unable to get out. For this to change, and for them to truly put the past behind them and embrace their inherent power in the process, they will need to work through this early pain.

Awareness:

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, inner child and inner awareness. With over two thousand, eight hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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Quitting is Easy. But Today is Not the Day to Give Up.

 

Consider the last time you were faced with a challenge, something you did not plan for or expect to occur. It could have involved something personal, in which you had one of two choices to make. The first was to accept what was happening to you, quit making any effort to address it, and not allow yourself to feel any sense of hope. The alternative was to find a way of addressing and managing the issue, even if there was little you could do to control it. Which did you choose?

Taking an easy way out always requires the least amount of effort. That's why quitting in the face of a challenge seems easiest at times, whenever you're confronted by demanding circumstances, an unexpected situation, or even moments when you have persistent doubts about how to handle an issue. It's working past any of these conditions that may seem too challenging, because of the amount of effort you imagine it will require to work through it.

The next time you find yourself at a crossroads, when you have to make a decision whether you are going to quit trying, or continue to put in an effort, make your decision an affirmation: This is not the day to give up. No matter how many times it seems you have let yourself down in the past, because of actions or inactions taken, including the number of occasions you believe you have failed, quitting should never be an option. There is simply nothing to be gained with an attitude of defeat, because a situation or circumstance has become too difficult.

I understand there will be situations in which this may seem easier to embrace than others. For example, if you are facing a health diagnosis you did not expect to receive, and you believe the future is going to be uncertain. Well, this is exactly the time when you need to remind yourself: This is not the day to give up. Your attitude is going to have a direct impact on your well-being. You may find your ability to face the future, and care for your well-being, depends upon what and how you believe. What you can do is learn to trust your inner strength, which you draw upon as an accessible internal power. Once you do, you will find yourself stronger of mind and ready to face whatever is ahead of you.

Reason to Quit: The Unexpected

The unexpected can and will occur in life. It usually happens without warning and catches you by surprise. If ever there is a time you would want to quit facing what's before you, this would likely be on top of the list. There's no planning for every possible scenario and situation you may be faced with or will likely encounter. When the unexpected does happen, and it will, you have a choice: You can attempt to hide or retreat from it, or face it head-on. As you likely know, running away from your problems and issues is only a short-term solution at best. At some point you will always have to address whatever has occurred in your life. What you will find is your ability to address any situation depends solely upon how soon you can draw upon your inner resolve and strength.

Reason to Quit: Lingering Doubts

Whenever you are experiencing a challenging situation, be it personal or professional, your ability to handle it effectively may depend upon how strong of mind you are at the time. For example, if you have a minor setback in your life, such as a goal you could not complete as quickly as you had hoped you would, this does not need to present a significant challenge for you, as long as you have a positive state of mind.

If instead you see this as a failure, and now believe you have been only a failure in life, trying to regain momentum may become much more challenging. Even more self-defeating are doubts which you allow to continue, whether it's about your ability, capability, or anything similar. The more you cultivate doubts, the more easily it will become to quit or give up, when there are times you feel challenged or faced with a situation that seems too difficult to address at first.

Your Internal Strength and Power

The inner strength you have is often referred to as resilience, willpower, grit, determination, and other similar words. I simply call it your internal power, to represent a combination of all these qualities. It takes all these elements to give you the strength needed to continue, whenever you want to quit or give up. There are three particular powers you have that are developed from your internal power, and include the Power of Potential, Power of Beliefs, and Power of Affirmations. Each of these powers can be cultivated with intention, and utilized for self-development. At any time, you can draw upon one, or all of these powers, and make certain this is a day you do not quit, just because of circumstances.

The Power of Potential

Whenever you see a situation as too challenging, beyond your capability or capacity, more than you can possibly bear, or any other justification which could be a combination of these reasons, there is something you have forgotten to consider: You hold tremendous potential. It is important that you remind yourself of this statement often, especially during moments when you question your ability to address an issue or circumstance.

All it takes is a moment of clarity, when you recognize you can do more with your life, to look ahead at possibilities, and then realize you hold the power to make changes, all because of the potential you possess. Even if you have received the worst news possible, or the unexpected has occurred, your potential is an ability to create a mindset of strength and not give into doubts and fears.

The Power of Beliefs

Can you name a positive belief you hold about yourself now? Or is it easier to think of something negative?

A belief is a mental statement you develop and continue to reaffirm, often without changing, unless you consciously make a decision to do so. It's something you state to yourself long enough that you begin to accept it as the truth, especially if you find enough evidence or outcomes to support it. For example, if someone believes they are a failure in life, and they continue to witness failures at anything they attempt to do, the evidence will only seem to support and reinforce what they believe. Negative beliefs are the easiest to develop and replay, especially when events in life are not going well. Yet it is the power of positive beliefs that can have the greatest impact on what you accomplish in life.

When you are at a time in your life that it seems you want to quit, and negative beliefs are replaying in your mind, this is when you need to change your focus. Think of the last accomplishment that was important to you. Remember the details and what it felt like to be able to reach that particular goal. Now as you reflect, consider this: You won't know what you are capable of achieving until you make a first attempt and try. That's how you were able to achieve your last goal, by taking the first step. You don't know what the future will be like, but you have the power of your beliefs. You can be mentally prepared and unafraid to move forward.

The Power of Affirmations

The last power you have that comes from within is developed through affirmations. These are statements which are designed to be specific to you, and meant to guide you through those moments when you need strength. For example, some of the worst feelings experienced are those created out of fear and doubt. You can change your thinking by making strong positive statements that begin with "I am", and conclude with optimistic words, such as: strong, powerful, hopeful, unafraid, fearless, centered, calm, etc.

There are other circumstances in which this power can become useful. For example, you may find yourself in a situation where it seems the impossible is before you, and for some reason you initially believe you are likely to fail. Or perhaps you find yourself interacting with someone who doesn't believe in you, or won't support you, no matter how hard you try. This is a time for you to make a strong positive statement, beginning with "I can and I will", and conclude with an optimistic phrase such as "perform to the best of my abilities", or "believe in the best about myself". The purpose is to help establish a positive frame of reference, which in turn will help you to create supportive beliefs.

You Can Be Limitless

Any time you feel as if you want to quit or give up on yourself, it's time for a mental self-assessment. Ask yourself these questions: What more can you accomplish, should you find the strength to keep on trying? What is possible to achieve, with a little more effort? What do you believe about your ability to address this situation or unexpected circumstance before you now?

If you are contemplating a goal you want to complete, consider this: It's not about the sky being the limit. It's what you are willing to think about, work towards, and commit to what matters. There are no limits to what you can believe.

As to facing your fears and doubts, for every reason there is to quit, there's an even greater reason to continue trying. The bigger the challenge to overcome, the greater your resolve must be. It's not just a matter of how you'll make it to the other side of what you must face, it's about your determination to stay strong, even in the face of fear or doubt.

You have within you an unending source of internal power to draw upon, and it only requires a change in your focus. When you decide to make "I can" and "I will" your personal mantras, giving up will not be an option today, or any day.

Dr. J's mission is to teach, write, and inspire others as an academic educator, leader, author, writer, and mentor.

Dr. J writes blog posts, articles, and books to inform, inspire, and empower readers. To learn more about resources that are available for educators, along with career and professional development, please visit: http://www.drbruceajohnson.com/

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10536804

The G. O. O. P. Method