Consider the last time you were faced with a
challenge, something you did not plan for or expect to occur. It could have
involved something personal, in which you had one of two choices to make. The
first was to accept what was happening to you, quit making any effort to
address it, and not allow yourself to feel any sense of hope. The alternative
was to find a way of addressing and managing the issue, even if there was
little you could do to control it. Which did you choose?
Taking an easy way out always requires the least
amount of effort. That's why quitting in the face of a challenge seems easiest
at times, whenever you're confronted by demanding circumstances, an unexpected
situation, or even moments when you have persistent doubts about how to handle
an issue. It's working past any of these conditions that may seem too
challenging, because of the amount of effort you imagine it will require to
work through it.
The next time you find yourself at a crossroads,
when you have to make a decision whether you are going to quit trying, or
continue to put in an effort, make your decision an affirmation: This is not
the day to give up. No matter how many times it seems you have let
yourself down in the past, because of actions or inactions taken, including the
number of occasions you believe you have failed, quitting should never be an
option. There is simply nothing to be gained with an attitude of defeat,
because a situation or circumstance has become too difficult.
I understand there will be situations in which this
may seem easier to embrace than others. For example, if you are facing a health
diagnosis you did not expect to receive, and you believe the future is going to
be uncertain. Well, this is exactly the time when you need to remind
yourself: This
is not the day to give up. Your attitude is going to have a direct
impact on your well-being. You may find your ability to face the future, and
care for your well-being, depends upon what and how you believe. What you can
do is learn to trust your inner strength, which you draw upon as an accessible
internal power. Once you do, you will find yourself stronger of
mind and ready to face whatever is ahead of you.
Reason to Quit: The Unexpected
The unexpected can and will occur in life. It
usually happens without warning and catches you by surprise. If ever there is a
time you would want to quit facing what's before you, this would likely be on
top of the list. There's no planning for every possible scenario and situation
you may be faced with or will likely encounter. When the unexpected does
happen, and it will, you have a choice: You can attempt to hide or retreat from
it, or face it head-on. As you likely know, running away from your problems and
issues is only a short-term solution at best. At some point you will always
have to address whatever has occurred in your life. What you will find is your
ability to address any situation depends solely upon how soon you can draw upon
your inner resolve and strength.
Reason to Quit: Lingering Doubts
Whenever you are experiencing a challenging
situation, be it personal or professional, your ability to handle it
effectively may depend upon how strong of mind you are at the time. For
example, if you have a minor setback in your life, such as a goal you could not
complete as quickly as you had hoped you would, this does not need to present a
significant challenge for you, as long as you have a positive state of mind.
If instead you see this as a failure, and now
believe you have been only a failure in life, trying to regain momentum may
become much more challenging. Even more self-defeating are doubts which you
allow to continue, whether it's about your ability, capability, or anything
similar. The more you cultivate doubts, the more easily it will become to quit
or give up, when there are times you feel challenged or faced with a situation
that seems too difficult to address at first.
Your Internal Strength and Power
The inner strength you have is often referred to as
resilience, willpower, grit, determination, and other similar words. I simply
call it your internal
power, to represent a combination of all these qualities. It takes
all these elements to give you the strength needed to continue, whenever you
want to quit or give up. There are three particular powers you have that are
developed from your internal power, and include the Power of Potential, Power
of Beliefs, and Power of Affirmations. Each of these powers can be cultivated
with intention, and utilized for self-development. At any time, you can draw
upon one, or all of these powers, and make certain this is a day you do not
quit, just because of circumstances.
The Power of Potential
Whenever you see a situation as too challenging,
beyond your capability or capacity, more than you can possibly bear, or any
other justification which could be a combination of these reasons, there is
something you have forgotten to consider: You hold tremendous potential.
It is important that you remind yourself of this statement often, especially
during moments when you question your ability to address an issue or
circumstance.
All it takes is a moment of clarity, when you
recognize you can do more with your life, to look ahead at possibilities, and
then realize you hold the power to make changes, all because of the potential
you possess. Even if you have received the worst news possible, or the
unexpected has occurred, your potential is an ability to create a mindset of
strength and not give into doubts and fears.
The Power of Beliefs
Can you name a positive belief you hold about
yourself now? Or is it easier to think of something negative?
A belief is a mental statement you develop and
continue to reaffirm, often without changing, unless you consciously make a
decision to do so. It's something you state to yourself long enough that you
begin to accept it as the truth, especially if you find enough evidence or
outcomes to support it. For example, if someone believes they are a failure in
life, and they continue to witness failures at anything they attempt to do, the
evidence will only seem to support and reinforce what they believe. Negative
beliefs are the easiest to develop and replay, especially when events in life
are not going well. Yet it is the power of positive beliefs that can have the
greatest impact on what you accomplish in life.
When you are at a time in your life that it seems
you want to quit, and negative beliefs are replaying in your mind, this is when
you need to change your focus. Think of the last accomplishment that was
important to you. Remember the details and what it felt like to be able to
reach that particular goal. Now as you reflect, consider this: You won't know
what you are capable of achieving until you make a first attempt and try.
That's how you were able to achieve your last goal, by taking the first step.
You don't know what the future will be like, but you have the power of your
beliefs. You can be mentally prepared and unafraid to move forward.
The Power of Affirmations
The last power you have that comes from within is
developed through affirmations. These are statements which are designed to be
specific to you, and meant to guide you through those moments when you need
strength. For example, some of the worst feelings experienced are those created
out of fear and doubt. You can change your thinking by making strong positive
statements that begin with "I am", and conclude with optimistic
words, such as: strong, powerful, hopeful, unafraid, fearless, centered, calm,
etc.
There are other circumstances in which this power
can become useful. For example, you may find yourself in a situation where it
seems the impossible is before you, and for some reason you initially believe
you are likely to fail. Or perhaps you find yourself interacting with someone
who doesn't believe in you, or won't support you, no matter how hard you try.
This is a time for you to make a strong positive statement, beginning with
"I can and I will", and conclude with an optimistic phrase such as
"perform to the best of my abilities", or "believe in the best
about myself". The purpose is to help establish a positive frame of
reference, which in turn will help you to create supportive beliefs.
You Can Be Limitless
Any time you feel as if you want to quit or give up
on yourself, it's time for a mental self-assessment. Ask yourself these
questions: What more can you accomplish, should you find the strength to keep
on trying? What is possible to achieve, with a little more effort? What do you
believe about your ability to address this situation or unexpected circumstance
before you now?
If you are contemplating a goal you want to
complete, consider this: It's not about the sky being the limit. It's what you
are willing to think about, work towards, and commit to what matters. There are
no limits to what you can believe.
As to facing your fears and doubts, for every reason
there is to quit, there's an even greater reason to continue trying. The bigger
the challenge to overcome, the greater your resolve must be. It's not just a
matter of how you'll make it to the other side of what you must face, it's
about your determination to stay strong, even in the face of fear or doubt.
You have within you an unending source of internal
power to draw upon, and it only requires a change in your focus. When you
decide to make "I can" and "I will" your personal mantras,
giving up will not be an option today, or any day.
Dr. J's mission is to teach, write, and inspire
others as an academic educator, leader, author, writer, and mentor.
Dr. J writes blog posts, articles, and books to
inform, inspire, and empower readers. To learn more about resources that are
available for educators, along with career and professional development, please
visit: http://www.drbruceajohnson.com/
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